The Letter is Mightier than the Atomic Bomb
by I'mTheGirlWhoLearnedToFly
Summary: The pen is mightier than the sword, but no one knew that the letter was mightier than the atomic bomb until the the HIVE streams put their Alpha-resentment into words. The Alphas replied...& WW3 ensued. With videos of a naked Wing doing rounds, Shelby going on a killing spree and Raven hijacking a tank, even Nero can't start to wonder where he went wrong. [in collab with MOSGEM]
1. FLY: Dear Alphas

**This was previous "Dear Alphas" and "Sincerely, Alphas" by me and Mosgem respectively.**

**It is now a COLLABORATION!**

***cheering***

**If anyone has favourited/alerted either or both of these stories, please do the same for this one!**

**And REMEMBER: It's a collab with Mosgem, which just happens to be on my account. But this story is 50% Mosgem's, so please go and favourite/subscribe to him, especially if you liked his chapters!**

**Here, this is Mosgem: (fanfiction dot net) /u/4087169/**

**Enjoy!**

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**The Stream-Test was very vague, wasn't it? I got a complete medley of a result.**

**Also-those of you who don't read Harlen Coben, you're missing out. I've actually added one of my favourite Win moments at the end of this one-shot. I suggest you read it. And then go read the books.**

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**DISCLAIMER: I don't own HIVE. Yet. maybe next year, when I take over the world...**

**SPOILER ALERT: Tiny spoiler for Aftershock. But really, go and re-read Book 1. It certainly wasn't a surprise for ****_me_****.**

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**Dear Alphas,**

We admit it-Block and Tackle have the IQ of a waffle. Their _combined _IQ is that of a waffle. A sad, burnt waffle.

And, knowing you, you little stuck up, snooty 'geniuses', you'll probably comment on how (cue the high, stuffy voice) "the 'IQ' of waffles is not dependent on how burnt they are, and what do you mean by sad? Waffles don't have emotions..."

Because, by definition, _all_ Henchmen students are idiots. Right?

Freaking _wrong._

You're not that special, you know? You're the leaders, but what's so great about that? Without people _to _lead, all you're capable of is conducting the air to do your evil bidding. Ha ha. Good luck with that. We know what your average upper body strength is like-don't pull a muscle waving your arms around!

Leadership is overrated. There's nothing _wrong_ with being the second-in-command! You know why we work under you? Because we _choose_ to. If we didn't want to listen to you boss us around anymore, we could just as easily break the deal. Along with a few other things. Like your bones. Even the ones you didn't know existed.

You upstarts get where we're getting at? We have brains. No one forces us to take orders. We work for the leaders out of loyalty or personal benefit or shit like that. Not because we're too stupid to know how to tie our shoelaces.

Food for thought (yes, that was a pun regarding the whole 'waffle' thing); Raven? The world's deadliest assassin? Dr Nero's girlfriend/bodyguard?

*Insert space for the reader to glance furtively over his/her shoulder to see if she's nearby. The mention of her name does that to most people.*

She's a henchman through and through. She works under Dr Nero. She takes orders from him. And she's a badass fighter-THE badass fighter. Henchman, right? And she could kill Nero in a heartbeat if she was so inclined.

Henchmen still looking like drooling vegetables to you? Yeah, tell that to Raven. Go on. We dare you, you gutless, spineless pricks.

Windsor Horne Lockwood III from the Myron Bolitar series. Henchman. No one can dispute that. No one can dispute that he's a true BAMF, either.

(Written by Harlan Coben-you _do_ read, don't you, pansies? Or do you just carry around your fancy books for show? We wouldn't be surprised... for your benefit, we attached a Xeroxed page from one of the books at the end.)

And, Wing Fanchu? _The_ Wing Fanchu? He should have been a Henchman. He works under Otto Malpense. And he's one of the best fighters ever to come at HIVE.

He certainly doesn't have any leadership or evil-mastermind qualities. And he can give Malpense a first-hand Biology practical on the appearance of a _spleen_ (Malpense's own, to be precise) any day.

God knows why they screwed the Stream sorting up with _him_. With the number of fangirls _he_ has, it would have been the biggest CHEW ON THAT, SUCKERS if he was in Henchman.

**Yours sincerely,**  
**The (severely pissed off) Henchmen students.**  
**(We love it when Colonel Francisco makes you work your weak little asses off. It provides us with an excellent source of slapstick humour)**

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**Dear Alphas,**

Hi. PolFi students here. Do you even know what colour our uniform is? It's gray, by the way. The _SciTech_ stream is white. Do you even know what PolFi is short for? Or SciTech?

Because we are _blatantly_ ignored. And it is, to be perfectly frank, insulting.

We are the manipulators. The Lucians and the Slytherins, so to speak. We recline in the shadows as we pull the political strings and reshuffle funds. We smile as we twist our way into peoples' minds and laugh at how they are but putty in our capable, cunning, sneaky hands.

And unlike you, we _certainly_ don't wave around conducting batons, ordering a gorilla army to do our bidding. Yeah, yeah, you're the evil geniuses, the masterminds behind the diabolical plot, the true leaders. Yada yada yada. We've already siphoned off half the funds of the World Bank by the time you've finished your speech.

Oh, and by the way-the_ true_ leaders? That would actually be _us_. Politics, sweetheart. We know what to say, how to say it, when to say it. We pull the strings. We manipulate minds.

We dare you to try to say 'I like maple syrup on my waffles' without us being able to twist your words.

Seriously. This is an open challenge to all you Alpha students-try to beat _any_ PolFi student in a game of liar dice or poker. Open challenge. Beat anyone from our stream, and we'll admit defeat.

(We hope this challenge actually has takers. We find it downright hilarious, watching you trying to keep up with us.)

You know, if you had half a brain, you would have noticed that we've been siphoning off your resources. Being invisible is our speciality-you want to catch us at it? It'll be easier to convince Franz Argentblum to go on a diet.

Speaking of Franz Argentblum, he should have been in our Stream-he's not Alpha material, he's a natural PolFi who really knows his figures-or rather, his figure _fudging._

We had thought that those two newbies, that pink haired girl (_Penny_-overt reference to money, anyone? We're the Political and _Financial_ stream, hint hint...) and her friend (whose last name is _Ransom-_yep, definitely suited for PolFi...) would be here, too. _Dayum_, can they _lie! _They could talk a crazy old cat lady into giving them her last bag of kitty litter!

Well, their loss. They should complain to the authorities. Actually, so many people were put in the wrong stream this time. Our SciTech friends don't stop ranting about how they understand that Otto-Malpense-technical-genius-extraordinary is Alpha material, but his girlfriend-is she his girlfriend? That Scottish ginger?-is _no way_ a leader or mastermind and should be in SciTech.

Actually, the Darkdoom boy, Nigel-leadership qualities? A budding mastermind? Who the hell saw that in _him_?

*Insert space for the reader to glance furtively over his/her shoulder to see if Dr Nero's nearby.*

But he's a natural Biotech Engineer. What the hell is he doing in Alpha? He should be SciTech, too...

Someone really messed up there. _So_ many people have been placed in the wrong stream this time...

**Regards,**  
**The ones who manipulate and the ones who pull the strings,**  
**Political/Financial Stream (seriously, though, you ****_did_**** know what 'PolFi' was, right?)**

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**Alphas,**

Get off your high horse. You suck compared to us.

If you have any respect for what we are and what we do, you'll be gone by morning.

**Science and Technical Stream**

**Post Script**-A student from SciTech (who wishes to remain anonymous for the sake of his/her personal safety) would like to add, "I've installed cameras in Wing's shower. Good luck trying to find them. We know how to cover our tracks, we know how to disguise signals _absolutely_. With the number of fangirls he has, it's easy to find takers for the tapes. It's a lucrative business-the PolFi Stream isn't the only one who knows how raise resources."

The SciTech Stream in general would like to agree with him/her. Incidentally, the PolFi stream has teamed up with us on numerous occasions. The things they have with which they can blackmail you...they are redefining 'evil', even by HIVE standards.

**We are laughing as we try to imagine your discomfort,**  
**SciTech**

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Dr Nero stared at the letters his assassin/bodyguard-_not_ his girlfriend, of course not!-had placed before him. He folded up the letter he had been reading before she could read the "Dr Nero's girlfriend/bodyguard" bit.

"Well," he said finally, "I'm actually rather glad that they've discovered ways of smuggling currency into HIVE. And utilizing it. Considering the fact that they're supposed to be the next future villains of the world, I'd be disappointed if they hadn't yet figured out ways to sneak in money...And the Henchman stream was rather..._civil_ with its language."

"It's a surprisingly peaceful way of voicing their opinions on the Alpha stream," Raven said seriously. "And they all raised some very valid points-Brand and Darkdoom should be in SciTech. Fanchu is a Hechman. Argentblum should be PolFi, and Richards and Ransom as well." She eyed him suspiciously.

"Max, you weren't drunk when you sorted-"

"No," he snapped, "Absolutely not."

"Were you sitting with Pike when you were deciding the streams? Was _he _drunk?"

"Professor Pike was _not involved._ And neither was alcohol," Nero stressed.

Silently, he crossed his fingers under his desk.

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**I'm PolFi. And I call dibs on the Nero+Pike+alcohol+streaming plot bunny!**

**High five if you read the 'If you have any respect for what we are and what we do, you'll be gone by morning' line in Tigress's voice ;)**

**Also-this is my take on how the other streams perceive the Alphas. The books have made it pretty clear that they hate Alphas. If you disagree (likely), then get creative...write a response in your review. I survive off humour ;)**

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**Excerpt from**  
**DROP SHOT (Myron Bolitar series-which ****_should_**** be renamed Windsor Horne Lockwood III series)**  
**by Harlan Coben**

"I have an idea," Aaron said.

"An idea?"

"For how to end this deadlock. One I think you'll like, Win."

"Do tell," Win said.

"We both put our guns down at the same time."

"So far it doesn't sound very appealing," Win said.

"I'm not finished."

"How rude of me. Please continue."

"We've both killed men with our bare hands," Aaron said. "We both know we like it. A lot. We both know there are very few worthy adversaries in this world. We both know we are rarely if ever seriously challenged."

"So?"

"So I'm suggesting the ultimate test." Aaron's grin grew brighter. "You and me. Man to man, hand-to-hand combat. What do you say?"

Win chewed on his upper lip. "Intriguing," he said.

...Still holding the guns, both men placed their hands on the floor. At the same time, they twisted their weapons so that the barrel was no longer pointing at the other man. They both released their weapons at the same time. They both stood at the same time. They both kicked the weapons into a corner at the same time.

Aaron grinned. "It's done," he said.

Win nodded.

They approached each other slowly. Aaron's grin spread into something fully maniacal. He got into some weird fighting position – dragon or grasshopper or something – and beckoned with his left hand. His body was sleek, all muscle. He towered over Win. "You forgot the basic premise of the martial arts," Aaron said.

"What's that?" Win asked.

"A good big man will always beat a good little man."

"And you forgot the basic premise of Windsor Horne Lockwood III."

"Oh?"

"He always carries two guns."

Almost nonchalantly, Win reached into his leg holster, took out his gun, and fired. Aaron ducked, but the bullet still hit him in the head. The second bullet also hit Aaron's head. So too, Jessica guessed, did the third.

He shook his head and made a tsk, tsk noise.

"What is it?" she asked.

Win turned to her, an almost shy smile toying with his lips. He gave a half-shrug. "I guess I'm not much for fair fights."


	2. MOSGEM: Sincerely, Alphas

**~~~By Mosgem~~~**

**Mosgem's URL: (fanfiction dot net) /u/4087169/**

**[This chapter is entirely Mosgem's, so if you liked it, please go and favourite/subscribe to him as that's only fair expression of appreciation :)]**

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**Soo, new H.I.V.E story, but not what i expected it to be. But when I'mTheGirlWhoLearnedToFly posted her story yelling at the Alpha's, how could i resist?**

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**Dear Henchmen,**

We congratulate you for two things: One, your ability to know what an IQ is, and two, your beautifully constructed metaphor.

_Combined IQ of a sad, burnt waffle._

Really. I think I might have cried a little bit.

No, not all Henchmen are stupid. All Henchmen are the lowest intelligence level in H.I.V.E. Not picking on your stream— it's the truth. And plus, with Block and Tackle as the mascots of the Henchman stream, what can you expect us to think? That you're all geniuses? Please.

Yeah, we're the leaders. You know whom we lead? We lead _you. _We lead you because, frankly, without us you would be lost puppies out in the world, not knowing where to go or who to beat up next. Good luck lasting a day in the real world without getting locked up and thrown in jail. Besides, without someone to lead you, what are you good for? Breaking brick walls and rearranging faces— nothing that anyone will remember. Do people write books about the pea-brained bully who was good for nothing and liked to beat people up?

_No_. They write the books about us— the leaders, the ones who were brave enough to step up and take control of the ruthless thugs. Abraham Lincoln, King Leonidas, Wayne Gretzky— they were all leaders in their own way, and everyone knows about them. Have you ever walked up to someone and asked if they know about that no-name bully who liked to stab things? Didn't think so.

Leadership is overrated. If you're too stupid and too mentally weak to handle it, that is. The real reason you work under us is because you wouldn't know power if it danced naked in front of you wearing Dobby's tea cozy. All you're good for is following us where we point and killing who we say. Huh, loyal? I remember the head Henchman at H.I.V.E being Chief Dekker, and she was about as loyal as a slug.

You could try breaking our bones. It might work, until we second the thousand other guards who work for us after you to break your bones— which we, having at least a third-grade education, know of. You crush bones. We crush _governments_. Who has the better deal here?

Yeah, everyone says Raven's a henchman though and through. Just because you're a good fighter though, doesn't mean you're 100% henchmen. Look at Nero— he proved himself worthy of the fight in Zero Hour, and he's the biggest leader there is. He trains the leaders. He trains the people who train the leaders. Raven may be a henchman (henchwoman?), but she's also a leader. Even squads of highly trained lethal warriors need an even more highly trained, even more lethal person to _lead_ them. So it is possible to be a leader and a fighter at the same time.

Look at Pietor Furan as well. He beat _Raven_ in a fight, and yet he's a leader through and through.

Gutless, spineless pricks? Did you even think before saying that? Do you even think at all? Otto Malpense is an Alpha, and lets look at some of the stuff he's done:

Tried to escape H.I.V.E when he was just a wee first-year.

Went with Raven into Cypher's super secret base and destroyed half his robots.

Freaking fought Number One himself and prepared to die to save the world.

Jumped on Air-Force one and prepared to die to save the president.

Stopped, once again, Number one and his raging army of nanites.

Fought off the leader of the disciples, and managed to be sarcastic while doing it.

Not bad fore someone who's got no spine, huh? And that's only some of the stuff he's done while you were cowering in your cells, waiting for orders. Really, you're the spineless ones— scared to step up and take leadership cause you don't know what to do with it.

Ah yes, Wing Fanchu. Back to the Raven factor. One can fight and lead at the same time. He doesn't work for Otto, they work together. They make evil plans together, they save world together. When things get physical, Wing steps in. When things get technical, Otto saves the day. They're a team, see? And yeah, maybe Otto's the leader, but that doesn't mean Wing can't lead.

Oh, you think Nero screwed up? You think _the_ Maximillian Nero, the leader of G.L.O.V.E and creator of H.I.V.E screwed up? Now it's my turn to dare you. Go tell him that to his face and see what happens. If Nero doesn't get you, Raven will in a second.

**Yours sincerely,**

**The Alphas.**

**P.S— we love to see you guys try to solve math problems. It provides us with a great source of entertainment when we've already finished all our work AND saved the world, twice.**

**Dear PolFi kids,**

Hello. Yes, we're a bit too familiar with your uniform colour. Incase you forgot, one of your members tried to blackmail us last year. Remember how well that turned out? Yeah.

PolFi stands for Political Financial stream, thank you very much. SciTech stands for Science and Technology. We do know about you, because a good leader knows about everyone working for him, which you will be doing soon.

You want to be Slytherins? Go ahead. No one likes Slytherins, and in the end, half of them die. You say you manipulate? The best way to manipulate is to lead, and we're the leaders. So really, we're beating you at your own game, while controlling _every one else_ as well.

We don't go around waving batons. You want to siphon of the money? Who are you doing it for? Even politicians have a leader, so you must be doing it for him. Working for the leaders, just like everyone else. You're not the real leaders. You're the cowards, who work from the shadows because, just like the Henchmen, you wouldn't know how to lead if we told you.

I like maple syrup on waffles. I dare you to twist that around and get away before we set out 'gorilla army' on you. Let's see how well your fancy words help you out there, shall we?

You want to play dares? We openly dare you to save the other Alphas. Yes, we just said that. We will sit back on our haunches and laugh at you while you get the crap beaten out of you by Furan and her minions. If you guys manage to do that, we'll admit defeat. No takers? Hmm.

In some of our cases, we have more than one brain in our head. See if you can wrap your manipulative minds around the fact that we really are smarter than you. You're the wanna-be Alpha's, the ones who were put in PolFi stream because you weren't good enough at manipulating to lead. You know the Prime Minister of Britain? The ultimate politician? Yeah, he was an Alpha way back in the day. If you dared to step out of the shadows and do some _real_ mans work, you might know these things.

Psh, Franz could be in any stream. He took out a helicopter with a rifle, for gods sake— when Raven herself said it was impossible. So face facts— Franz, the chubby German boy, is better than you'll ever be at being a politician, or anything at all. Can you run circles around the teacher of PolFi and leave her wondering where the hell your money went? If not, then shut your lying mouths and go back to your cubbyholes.

Oh, Penny and Tom. You want to know something funny about them? They ran a manipulative organization, by _leading _it. Again, they're the better politicians than you guys ever will be, and that's why they're in the Alpha stream.

Laura is obviously his girlfriend, and by putting her in SciTech stream, you would disrupt the whole space-time continuum by breaking her and Otto up. Come on, you guys are supposed to be smart (well, smart_er_ than Henchmen, at least). Do you guys want to watch the world burn?

'The Darkdoom boy', as you eloquently put it, is the son of Diablous Darkdoom, one of the deadliest people on earth. Darkdoom's a leader, and that's why Nero put Nigel in the Alpha stream— in hopes he would become a leader as well. Maybe not yet, but hey, plants that bloom late are always the best ones, right?

Did you guys ever stop to consider that everyone was placed in the right stream for the right reasons? Or were you too busy smuggling money into H.I.V.E to even think that Nero didn't get to where he is now by making mistakes? (Money at H.I.V.E— really? What good is that?)

**Hoping you realize that you're the wanna-be Alpha's,**

**The **_**true**_** Alpha's.**

**Of course we knew what it stood for. It's impolite not to know your employees title. You do work for us, right?**

**Dear SciTech,**

We don't ride horses. We have respect for who you are and what you do, you're just not good enough at it to be part of our operations. With Otto _and_ Laura on our side, why would we need you, anyways? Seriously, you're cool and all, but none of you have a supercomputer implanted inside your head.

**Post-script answer:**

Oh, you are so dead. Perhaps you forgot the fact that Otto Malpense can sense these things? You might as well have told us your name, cause it won't mater anyways. Whoever you are, we will find you, and we will almost kill you. (Not out of kindness— if we fully kill you, we can only do it once. This time, we can do it multiple times.) I don't really think any girl would take those tapes— it would only be a matter of time before Shelby hunted her down, and that would not end well

Otto Malpense would like to add two things— he shares the same shower as Wing, and he has fan girls as well— he hopes. You better tell the PolFi to either blackmail us already or hide, because we're coming for you. Excuse us if we're not overly terrified by your 'redefined evil.' In fact, we find the fact you thought you could blackmail _us_ quite hilarious.

**Planning ways to make your life long and painful,**

**The Alphas.**

"Not again," Nero groaned, folding up the latest letter from the Alpha stream. He had no idea how they had found the complaint letter in the first place, but when it came to the third-year Alphas, it really wasn't surprising.

"Well, at least Malpense hasn't done anything in retaliation," Raven said, trying to sound optimistic. "Although you might want to find that student who put camera's in Fanchu's shower and ship him back to the real world, for his own protection."

"That may be a good idea," Nero agreed, shredding the letter so the other streams couldn't get their hands on it and reply. That would surely mean war.

"Well, they didn't say we're in a relationship this time," Nero said casually, forgetting he had made it his mission _not_ to tell Raven about that tiny tibbit of information. The assassins eyes grew wide and she turned to face him.

"They did _what?"_

Again, Nero firmly crossed his fingers beneath the desk as Raven shot to her feet.

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**Huh. I can see war coming.**

**Review!**


	3. FLY: Chapter 3

When I wrote this story, I exaggerated the Alpha bashing. Mainly because:

a) I wrote what the other Streams would view them as. There's plenty of evidence in the books to suggest that the other Streams hate their black-jumpsuit-clad guts.

b) I was wishing for some severely controversial (and thus, entertaining) responses.

Wish granted! Thank you, **mosgem**, for writing '**Sincerely, Alphas**'.

It's a response written by the Alphas. And it's hilarious. And brilliant. And possibly enough to spark WW3, but those are the best ones, right? *insert wide, slightly insane grin*

Anyway. SHOUT OUT to '**Sincerely, Alphas'** by **Mosgem. **Thank you for writing it!

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PS-Yes, it did spark a war...

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The **SciTech** stream (after making sure that disguising signals absolutely really means _absolutely_, because, while wedid take into account Malpense and his computer-brain, one can never be too sure) want to say: Yes, Otto, you have fangirls. Well, _a_ fangirl. Who's slightly creepy. With stalker-like tendencies. But who cares, huh? Also, Laura might be in on this shower thing. We think she's using an alias to buy the tapes, and yeah, we're pretty sure it's her...

And you sing in the shower, Malpense. You're not that bad, actually. After a lot of debate, we've given you a 7.1.

Yeah, good luck, Shel. Fangirls are crazy. They'd do anything to watch Wing in the shower, including face your wrath-oi! Cassie, quit playing Wing's shower videos! Sweet mother of-we're trying to reply here! We can't do that if we're suffering severe nosebleeds due to the extreme hotness and sex appeal that takes mortal form in Wing Fanchu WHERE THE HELL ARE THOSE TISSUES?!

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The **Henchman** stream:

After deciding that we are never going to break the you-are-brainless-thugs-who-will-never-be-considered-amazing stereotype (Raven! Henchman! Wing Fanchu! Henchman! And, FREAKING HELL! FURAN was definitely HENCHMAN! Are they not smart? Are they not awesome? How thick-headed can _you_ Alphas be if you don't see that?!) said, "Screw it," and went out to break some bones.

Apparently, we are under the impression that crushing governments wasn't going to save Alphas from getting their bones crushed.

Hm. Wonder why we would think that...

We do applaud the Harry Potter reference, though.

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We **PolFis** have followed the Henchmen's lead. Upon repeated insinuation that we are the Alphas' minions, we, too, have said, "Screw it," and have paid the Henchmen to mess up Alpha-faces. And intestines. (Really, though? You didn't know that money talks, even at HIVE? No wonder Alpha and PolFi are two different streams, even though you feel that we PolFis are just wannabe-Alphas...no, really, that brilliant lecture on class and finesse, and all you got was wannabe losers? They don't have an IQ criterion for you guys any more, do they?)

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"How the hell did they find those replies? I ripped them apart!"

Raven patted her employer/lover-no, not her lover!-soothingly, "You would have failed as a teacher if they hadn't. It's not that bad..."

Nero lifted his head (which he had previously buried in his hands) to look at her. "World War 3 has broken out. We've had to create a whole new infirmary wing. Professor Pike caught a PolFi girl liberating a bazooka while muttering something about 'stupid Alphas thinking we're stupid wannabe minions I'll show them'..."

"It's not that bad," Raven repeated.

"She hasn't even used it yet, Natalya."

"Wait-Pike _let her take _the bazooka?"

"She was a livid PolFi student with a lethal weapon of mass destruction! And we'll have another Hiroshima-Nagasaki, once the SciTechs are done modifying it! What was Pike supposed to do?!"

Raven was quiet for a while, unsure of how to proceed. Finally, she spoke up, "We can do some damage control, though. By not letting the Alphas receive the other streams' responses, for starters..."

Right one cue, they heard someone shriek hysterically-with a Scottish accent, "I didn't know about the tapes! I swear! No, I'm not blushing! I'm _not_, dammit! These are allergies! Shel! Back me up!"

"GIVE ME AN AXE!"

"Come on, you're above all-"

"THEY'VE SEEN WING NAKED. I HAVEN'T!"

"Shelby-"

"MALPENSE, WHERE'S THE GODDAMNED AXE?!"

"Wing took it-"

"THEN GIVE ME THE BAZOOKA!"

Raven winced as she heard the unfortunate albino's attempts to explain that the bazooka was missing, too... "This is _not _going to be easy to deal with...Are you sure the camera riggers are safe?"

Nero absentmindedly chewed on his thumb. The last time he'd indulged in that habit, he was 3 and teaching his engineered shark to tap dance. "The SciTech stream assured me that they had taken into account Malpense's abilities. Something about recovering an imprint of his implanted mainframe from the shcool's database to develop a quantum encryption to eliminate the possibility of a bypass something something jargon jargon. They were confident that they were in the clear."

"Well, Malpense hasn't found them yet, so they must be. What are they going to do about an axe-wielding Wing Fanchu?

A loud crash sounded outside, followed by a boom. Raven opened the door to see a giant space robot waving around a smoking bazooka. Someone in the background screamed, "YEAH! SCITECH, BITCHES! COME AT ME _NOW_!"

The assassin calmly shut the door. "In case I die tonight, know that I've always loved you-" Nero blinked, "-and tell Luke that Darth is his father."

He started. Oh, so she was _joking_...he sighed. He couldn't really tell with Natalya...

"I'm only half-joking, though," Raven added as she unsheathed her katanas, "There's a very good chance we might all end up dead." Bracing herself, she kicked open the door, weapons held high-

-and immediately threw it shut when an axe flew inside and slammed itself into Nero's chair.

Nero peered out from where he had ducked under his desk, warily eying the large weapon that had rudely occupied his seat without asking him first.

There was a knock on the door. "Excuse me, Dr Nero, Raven," Wing said, his polite tone at odds with his dishevelled hair and murderous expression, "but have you seen my axe, by any chance?"

Nero hadn't been this speechless since the last time he had seen Natalya in a cocktail dress.

Raven wrenched out the axe from the chair's headrest and threw it at him. Catching it deftly, he bowed and closed the door with a brief, "My apologies, sorry for the interruption," which was then followed by a shout of, "CASSIE FROM SCITECH, YOU-WILL-PAY!" heard through the closed door.

"..."

"...No, I don't think you need to intervene, Natalya..." Nero eventually ventured, "...They'll be fine."

Something which sounded suspiciously like an atomic bomb shook the floor.

"Just fine," he repeated.

Another explosion, followed by shrieks of, "LET ME AT 'EM!" reverberated through the floor.

"...please don't leave me," Max whimpered to himself.


	4. MOSGEM: Chapter 4

**~~~By Mosgem~~~**

**Mosgem's URL: (fanfiction dot net) /u/4087169/**

**[This chapter is entirely Mosgem's, so if you liked it, please go and favourite/subscribe to him as that's only fair expression of appreciation :)]**

* * *

**NOTE: Laura Brand would like to say that she did not, in any way, tamper with this note, certainly not to erase the part about her getting the tapes. Because that would just be embarrassing. **

**Wing Fanchu **would like to say that although Shelby has not, indeed seen him naked, there has not yet been a moment when Otto has been out of the dorm long enough for anything to occur. He did suggest (with a completely straight face, of course,) that perhaps Otto and Shelby could swap dorms for a night. He also mentioned something about protection for Otto. (He would also like to point out how half the Henchman stream turned and ran like rabbits once he decapitated two of their numbers with his axe.

**Shelby Trinity **would like to point out that even if you do get the video, she will get the real thing, plus something… more. So, really, you're losing out because you'll just be reminding yourself of what you don't have. And, she managed to convince (see: threaten) Otto Malpense into hacking into the deep-storage nine bunker, and she's coming for you in an invincible robot of death.

**Otto Malpense **says that they got the wrong video of him. Taylor Swift wasn't the best song. If they got him singing the Beatles, he feels his score would be at least an 8.6

He would also like to say that after a lot of prying, snooping and eavesdropping, he is more than slightly confused (and two parts frightened) as to why the red-haired weapons instructor (whom, he would obnoxiously point out, is Irish, not _Scottish_) has a crush on him. He would like to tell her that while it's nothing personal, she's a bit too old for him, although red is his favourite colour for hair.

**Laura Brand **is currently hitting her head against the wall.

* * *

"You know what? I'm not even going to ask."

Nero slumped in his desk, staring at the stark-white sheet of paper with a mixture of horror, disbelief and admiration. Raven was too busy holding the doors against a mix of complaining PolFi students and frightened Henchmen.

The clash of weapons from outside was almost unbearable. Currently, there were two teacher fatalities, six injuries, twelve reported AWOLS and HIVEmind himself had hijacked a shroud and fled the island, though not before stating he was on the Alpha's side in this argument.

"Probably best not to," Raven grunted, dispatching of the last student and cleaning her blades. "Although one of the students did mention something about assembling a decomposed dinosaur in ten minutes, so frankly I'm not that surprised."

"I guess not," Nero said, deflating even more. "Sometimes I think we teach them a bit too well." Raven was about to answer, when there was a resounding _boom_ from outside. The ceiling of HIVE shattered, and a black blur streaked inside and slammed into the bazooka-turned-nuclear weapon.

"TAKE THAT, YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING ROTTEN BOYFRIED-STEALING STALKING DAUGHTER OF A NO GOOD SON OF A RAPIST WHO WAS BORN TO A FAMILY OF DOGS RAISED BY RATS ON CRACK!"

"Is that…."

"Cypher's robot," Raven nodded, and Nero shrunk back even more. Another inch, and he would fall straight through the chair and out the back, Raven thought.

"We're getting out of here," Nero said, and Raven rolled her eyes at her lover—employer!

"You want to make your way through that?" she asked, pointing out the door to the battlefield. Nero thought for a second, then hung his head.

"I guess we'll wait here," he admitted, and Raven nodded, swinging the door shut to protect against students/flying axes alike.

The sound of the battle stopped.

Raven frowned, looking at Nero to make sure she wasn't going insane. He looked just as puzzled as she did, and she swung the door back open, half expecting the noise to continue. It was dead silent, however.

Dead silent, that is, except for an insistent _thud….thud….thud. _

"What's that?" Raven frowned, trying to focus on the noise. It seemed t be coming from outside the room, near the Alpha block.

"I believe that would be…" Nero consulted the latest note by the Alpha's. "Miss Brand slamming her head against the wall repeatedly."

"Miss Brand?" Raven frowned, trying to remember the name. It seemed familiar, but she couldn't be sure.

"Mrs. Malpense," Nero explained, and realization dawned on her pale face.

"Oh. Well, I better go and find out what is causing the lack of noise is," she said, swinging open the door and stepping outside. Almost immediately, a white-and-black streak dropped form the ceiling, landing silently beside her. Nero opened his mouth to call a warning, but before he could the figure— whom he could now identify as Otto Malpense— moved. One hand came out and snaked around Natalya's shoulders, tapping her on the right shoulder. She turned in that direction, and Malpense (who was on the left), darted forwards, grabbed her Katana's _straight out of her hands_ and ran for his life, performing a victorious heel click as he did.

And promptly fell on his face.

Scrambling to his feet, he took off again, and Raven followed him, leaping through the scattered bodies and dropped weapons, around a corner…

And froze.

For there, on HIVE's massive screen, was a video of Wing Fanchu showering, completely naked. Raven was stunned for a minute, before turning around and blushing deeply. The part of her that was still functioning was wondering why the male PolFi/SciTech/Henchmen weren't fighting.

She took another step into the room and got her answer.

On the other screen, in the same shower that Wing had been in, Franz Argentblum was showering joyously, humming to himself as he did so. Raven quickly turned away, although she could swear her vision went foggy for a second. On the floor near the video, students were crawling around, clawing at their eyes.

Well, she had to hand it to Malpense, he had found out how to weaponize the videos. That was turning the tables if she had ever seen it before.

Still, this gave her a chance to end the battle right here and now—

The screens turned off.

Raven was running before she could even realize what had happened, sprinting back to the room and picking up a discarded sword. Behind her, she could hear the wailing of deprived girls and (girly) screaming of blind boys as they recovered from the videos. Raven bent down to scoop up a fallen sword, but something caught her eye instead.

Twenty-three second later, she had the fully-sized panzer tank up and running. She turned on the treads, revved the engine and jumped into battle.

Nero, upon seeing the maniacal grin on her face, dove back into his office with a loud scream.


	5. FLY: Chapter 5

** Comparatively a rather long chapter, haina?**

**I **_**don't**_** like using OCs, but Mark, you leave me with no choice! Are all the other students androids put there to lure Malpense and Co into a false sense of security, because we literally never hear about anyone else at HIVE! There are **_**no **_**inter-stream relations at all!**

**...but then again, this started out with inter-stream correspondence. Look where it's ended up...**

* * *

"_**...it twisted the definition of "sanity" so severely that it bent over and screamed for mercy."**_

_**-What I Like About Winter, by baka deshi**_

* * *

Grappler Cavern Nine had become an impromptu base-slash-infirmary-slash-therapist's-office-for- all-those-traumatized-by-a-naked-Franz-slash-cotto n-ball-station-for-the-severe-nosebleeds-caused-by -the-hotness-that-is-a-naked-showering-Wing for the Henchman-SciTech-PolFi alliance (the PolFis had been lobbying to call themselves the PolTechMen, but the suggestion had been vetoed).

Currently, there was steam coming out of the ears of the Henchman reading the Alphas' letter, and he crumpled it up and threw it with the force of a battering ram. One with metal horns. And at least three dozen people swinging it. Quite an achievement, considering it was no more than a wad of paper.

"_Which pansies,_" he roared, "_which lily-livered pansies 'turned and ran like rabbits' after Fanchu decapitated Block and Tackle?!"_

There was the odd whimper, but no one answered. Finally, a PolFi student looked up and said, "I think it was...well, essentially everyone from the same year as the Fab Fo-Malpense and his crew," she quickly amended.

"Dear God, who was in charge of the selection and streaming that year?" he groaned, massaging his temples, "That entire year is whacked. Was Nero drunk?"

There were a few murmurs of "yeah", "of course" and "had to be". Cassie from SciTech added, "Pike was involved," and there were groans of "that explains it" all around, while she just went back to sprawling on the floor, watching her Wing videos with perverted, voyeuristic glee.

"What else did the note say, Dylan?" the PolFi girl asked the Henchman. Dylan struggled to remember her name-Dorothy? Something to do with a novel-oh, Darcy, yes.

"Well," he said slowly, "Besides some _disgusting _flirting on Fanchu and Trinity's part, Trinity mentioned something about sleeping with Fanchu-"

Somewhere in the midst of the crowd, there was a hysterical shriek of "WINGELBY FOREVER!".

It was ignored. This happened a lot, after all.

"Malpense...said something about the Beatles? And Laura Brand seems to have gone nutso. Oh," he tacked on as an afterthought, "Trinity's been to Bunker 9 and she's gotten a hold of that invincible robot."

Cassie cackled. "Let her come. We'll crush her! We'll grind that stinking robot to scrap metal and wash it with the Alphas' blood! We'll play marbles with their eyeballs! _We'll wave banners of victory made out of their skin and use their bones as flagposts!_"

These...frankly speaking, downright _disturbing_ proclamations were ignored as well. After all, the rest of the PolTechMen (oops, sorry, that name had been brutally shot down-yes, actual bullets had been involved) had gotten used to Cassie by now.

Darcy got up, clearing her throat and preparing to rouse the PolFi students into action.

"Friends, villains, students, lend me your ears!  
We come to bury the Alphas, not to play with them.  
The evil that we will do to them  
Will leave behind nothing but their bones;  
_So let it be with the Alphas!"_

Amidst the screams of agreement from the PolFi students, Dylan mused, "That sounded vaguely familiar."

"Of course it did," Cassie said, rolling onto her back and replaying the naked Wing video, "She was paraphrasing Antony's speech from Julius Caesar. No wonder it's gotten the Political/Financial students in such frenzy, it's the greatest political drama ever written. It'll take a while," she added, "Antony keeps at his monologue, for, like, _eight_ pages."

Dylan massaged his temples again. He seemed to be doing that a lot.

He stood up and turned to his own stream. "_HENCHMEN!"_ he bellowed, "We were selected to study at HIVE because we are the best of the best of best! Would any one of us be here if we weren't the best in the art of combat in the entire world?"

"Well, unless you were in Malpense and Co's year," Cassie muttered, "No."

"NO! ARE WE PANSIES?"

"NO!" came the resounding reply.

"Can we be beaten by _mere Alphas_, who can't even make it across the grappler cavern on their first try?"

There was jeering laughter at that, and a few insults so violent they impressed even Cassie.

"If there's ANYONE over here who will run like a bunny and fight just as uselessly...GO GET DECAPITATED BY FANCHU'S AXE!"

There was more yelling and hollering at that.

"This is war, my friends!" he paused for dramatic effect... "THIS. IS. _SPARTA!_"

That was it. The Henchmen jumped up, hooting and screaming for blood and decapitated Alpha-heads stuck on pikes.

"Well, that was primitive," Cassie remarked from the floor, "...I couldn't have done it any better."

Dylan graciously acknowledged the praise.

Darcy seemed to have reached the end of her speech:

"Now let it work. Mischief, thou art afoot.  
Take thou what course thou wilt!"

And all the PolFi students went mad, cheering and clapping and waving a strange assortment of weapons and screaming death threats in a decidedly un-PolFi way, while the Henchmen made faces at the excessive use of "thou".

Cassie calmly put away the iPad she had been using to watch her video, slowly standing up. She straightened her diminutive form and calmly her gaze around the room, making eye contact with each and every SciTech student.

A strange hush spread across them.

Cassie took a deep breath.

"_LET'S RIP THOSE STINKING SONS OF FLEA INFESTED DOGS APART LIMB-BY-LIMB AND FEED THEIR PUS-FILLED ENTRAILS TO OUR GENETICALLY ENGINEERED HOUNDS AND HANG THEIR DECAPITATED CORPSES ON OUR DOORS AS A WARNING TO REST OF THE WORLD!"_

"You don't have genetically engineered hounds," Dylan commented mildly.

"No, _you _don't have genetically engineered hounds," Cassie shot back at him, tapping at her iPad. A moment later, the roof of the cavern shuddered and collapsed as an entire armada of Iron Man suits slammed through it.

"_LET THOSE ROTTEN MUTANT SEWER-RATS TASTE THE FURY OF A VENGEFUL SCITECH STREAM!"_

* * *

The shouts and screams for blood were audible to Dr Nero, even as he hid in his Reinforced Safe Room.

Some might call it a Panic Room.

But they were wrong.

Dr Maximillian freaking Nero, headmaster of HIVE and member of GLOVE, villain extraordinaire and evil personified, did not _panic._

Another shudder rocked the facility, and he stifled a-a-a sound of displeasure.

Because of course he didn't _whimper_, any more than he did panic...

Another bloodthirsty scream and violent death threat made its presence known.

...no, no panic, no whimpering, not even in the face of a war which made the previous World Wars look like fights between pre-school children in a sandbox.

Nerves of steel, he had.

Maniacal laughter filled the air.

Max not-whimpered and-for the first time in decades-found himself wishing desperately for Mr Blankie.

* * *

Raven grinned maniacally from within the tank.

_Pfft. Tanks. How hard can they be?_

* * *

The battle between the Henchmen and half of the Alpha stream had been going on in full swing. Fighting with renewed vigour, the Henchman were winning by a landslide and executing flawless combat moves which would have made Colonel Francisco weep with joy if he hadn't shaken his head and announced, "I'm out of here," and then proceeded to do a bunk along with HIVEmind when the battle had begun.

However, it was interrupted in the form of two tank missiles launched right in the middle of the battlefield.

Confused shouts and curses were hurled into the air as the warriors took cover. Well...the Henchmen took cover, but the Alphas kind of just panicked and ran around like headless chickens. One of them screamed and knelt, praying to the God Almighty to Deliver Us From This Batshit Crazy Apocalypse. A Henchman clobbered him over his head and knocked him unconscious, earning many grateful looks from Henchmen and Alphas alike.

This wasn't the Apocalypse.

This was the long awaited _war_.

Damned if any of them quit _now!_

However, the madwoman in the tank seemed to think differently, as another weapon was chucked in that direction. The egg-shaped projectile, about the size of a football, rolled to a stop right in the middle of the room.

The Alphas stared at it incomprehensibly.

The Henchmen recognised it from the merciless lessons of Colonel Francisco.

"_SCATTER!"_ one of them bellowed, and they dove to the side. Exactly 1.62 seconds later, the thing exploded and sprayed acid in all directions. There were screams as everyone present got the hell away from that tank as if an entire squadron of Reapers were behind them (Henchmen) or as if Colonel Francisco was chasing them with screamed threats of detention (Alphas).

* * *

Inside the tank, Raven refrained from clapping with joy, choosing to hit another random control instead.

Another missile flew in the now sparsely populated area.

_Tanks. _Raven grinned._ Ha. Go-karts have given me greater trouble_.

* * *

_Somewhere else at HIVE..._

The other half of the Alphas charging down one corridor.

Darcy leading the PolFi students down the opposite corridor.

Scream, battles cries and (in the case of the PolFi students) quotes from Julius Caesar hurtling through the air.

Dramatic music (courtesy of a couple of SciTechs who had taken over the PA System to use as a music system) playing in the background-because Cassie wasn't the only crazy SciTech student.

For Hephaestus's sake, _Pike_ was the head of the SciTech department. Of course they were all batty.

But did they really have to play the Mission Impossible tune?

_Dun dun dada Dun dun dada Dun dun dada Dun dun dada Dun dun dada..._

That was taking _crazy_ to whole new levels.

"Kill the wannabes!" The Alphas howled.

"Go fetch fire! Pluck down benches! Pluck down forms, windows, anything!" the PolFis were screaming right back.

_Dun dun dada doo de doo doo de doo doo de doo doo do..._

But the battle was _rudely_ interrupted by the Henchman stream and the Alphas (well, what was left of them, anyway), who came crashing right in the middle of the potential battlefield as if-as if-

Well, as if a maniacal, trigger-happy Raven with a demented grin in a fully loaded panzer tank was chasing them.

Really, it doesn't get much scarier than that. Darcy saw her life flash before her eyes.

But that was when the SciTech students entered.

In Iron Man suits.

Followed by genetically engineered hounds the size of horses.

"YOU PUNY ALPHAS," Cassie screamed via the PA system, "MAY HAVE OTTO MALPENSE AND LAURA BRAND. _BUT OUR ENTIRE STREAM IS FILLED WITH TECHINICAL GENII AS GOOD AS-IF NOT BETTER-THAN THOSE TWO! MWAHAHAHAHA!"_

Well. At least the Mission Impossible tune had been stopped.

"_BOW BEFORE US, ALPHAS, BEFORE WE BLAST YOU INTO OBLIVION WITH OUR REPULSOR RAYS!"_

Although, in hindsight, that _might_ have been _marginally_ better...

"HOUNDS OF DEATH! FIND THAT MALPENSE BRAT AND RIP HIM TO SHREDS AND THROW THOSE STINKING REMAINS IN THE VOLCANO _AND DO IT BEFORE HE GETS IN RANGE OF OUR SUITS_!"

The snarling hounds obliged, racing down the corridors in search of their target.

"TONIGHT, WE SHALL TASTE BLOOD AND VICTORY! ALPHAS, PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR LIMBS FORCED THROUGH SHREDDERS WHILE WE PLUCK OUT YOUR EYEBALLS AND CONVERT THEM TO JELLY AND SPREAD IT ON BREAD AND STUFF THAT BREAD IN YOUR SCREAMING MOUTHS!"

Yes...Mission Impossible _was_ better than this.

* * *

Nero took a deep breath and picked up his mobile phone.

Because of course he had a mobile phone. It was a very nice BlackBerry Torch with 3G and Brick Breaker.

And speed dial. Which he used to call Raven.

* * *

Somewhere inside the tank, Bad Romance began playing.

For a moment, Raven looked puzzled but then realised that it was her phone. Cursing Malpense to the high heavens-he had pulled a stunt like this earlier, her phone had begun playing the Pink Panther tune when she was trying to sneak up on a target-she answered it quickly.

"Raven? I think we need to do something..."

"I'm breaking up the fight," Raven offered.

"No, from what I gathered, you're annihilating everything you can using a panzer tank."

"And every_one_," she clarified, the maniacal grin back on her face. "No fight if there's no one _left_ to fight..."

"Be as it may, I really don't want my entire student population-what's left of them, anyway-to be annihilated...I have another proposition."

"What is it, Max?" Raven asked.

"Why don't you make you way to my Panic Ro-ah, I mean, my Safe Room, and I'll tell you..."

A tank missile was launched in Raven's direction. However, it missed Raven. 'Cause, you know, she's _Raven_, who'll fake-die fifty different times, but never actually _die_. It's her superpower. Or something.

"On my way," Raven said, calmly deciding that _maybe_ this wasn't the safest place to be (yes, you may raise your eyebrows at that fantastic revelation).

Cassie let out another violent scream over the PA System.

Nero shivered..."Please do hurry."


	6. MOSGEM: Chapter 6

**~~~By Mosgem~~~**

**Mosgem's URL: (fanfiction dot net) /u/4087169/**

**[This chapter is entirely Mosgem's, so if you liked it, please go and favourite/subscribe to him as that's only fair expression of appreciation :)]**

* * *

"Are those…. Genetically engineered hounds?" Otto asked, tilting his heads quizzically as he watched the swarm bound down the halls. In the corridor to his right, the PolFi students had realized that they weren't built for fighting and had instead taken to ducking behind rubble and yelling useless threats at the Alpha's.

"I believe so," Wing nodded. "And a lot of them, too."

"Yeah, these guys have some pretty cool stuff," Otto admitted, casting a quick glance to where Cassie and Shelby were battling it our in their respectable suits of death.

"I suggest letting me handle this," Wing said, stepping forwards. His axe had snapped a long time ago (as had the head of the Henchman he had been aiming for), but Otto had been able to find a substitute for him.

Because really, what kind of child-super-genius-who-could-rival-Artemis-Fowl would he be if he hadn't tried to invent a lightsaber? Okay, his first attempt may have ended in a very mad Shelby and a very dead test dummy, and the second attempt may have put a wall in Nero's study, but Otto felt sure he had nailed it this time.

Sure enough, when Wing thumbed the button a three-foot long ray of pink… stuff burst into existence and sliced through the nearest hound. He would have to work on the colour later.

The rest of the hounds met their end, leaving an unnaturally calm-looking Wing and a lot of blood pooled on the ground. He put away the lightsaber.

"Not bad," he told Otto. "Although the colour isn't the greatest, I would have to say."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm working on that," the Albino said irritably. This whole war thing was interfering with his commitment to memorize the Library of Congress. By the time they were over and done here, he would be at least five shelves behind. What a waste of one day.

"_NO!" _Otto turned to see a very mad Cassie glaring at him. "_YOU INSUFFERABLE BOTTLE OF GUINESS! YOU DESTROYED MY HOUNDS! I'LL RIP YOUR TONGUE FROM YOUR MOUTH AND SHOVE IT INTO YOUR EYE SOCKET! I'LL TEAR YOU UP LIMB BY LIMB AND FORCE YOU TO EAT YOUR OWN LEGS! I'LL—"_ her next threat was cut short as Shelby used her own robot to drop-kick Cassie through the nearest wall.

"ALPHA'S FOR THE WIN!" she screeched, turning towards where the henchmen were gaining ground. "COME AT ME NOW, ASSHOLES!"

"I'm not too sure who's more insane," Otto commented as he watched her crush the unfortunate thugs with unhidden glee. "Her or Cassie."

"I would be inclined to agree," Wing frowned. "Even though I probably shouldn't."

* * *

In his pan—er, safe room, Nero listened to the sounds of battle while trying to estimate how much it would cost the school. G.L.O.V.E was going to kill him when he spent their whole savings fixing it up.

"Good news, Max!" Raven's voice came over his cell phone (the new Blackberry Q-10, for infamous evil leaders had to be on top of technology). "I found the weapons dump!"

"Natalya, we don't have a weapons dump," he snapped. "Would you get back here and help me figure out how to escape?"

"Sorry, Max!" she said cheerfully. "Can't here you over the sound of my laser cannons charging up!"

Uh oh. Nero hit the floor as the whole school shook. Little pebbles rained down from the roof of his panic room.

Nero was seriously contemplating taking out the emergency supplies and building himself a pillow fort.

* * *

From inside the tank, Raven laughed maniacally as she watched SciTech students scatter before her.

_Heh. Laser weapons._ Another burst fired off. _Even simpler than tanks, once you get used to them._

* * *

Amidst the numerous battles of HIVE, Tom Ransom sat across the table from a nameless PolFi student, his brow creased in concentration as he studied the cards in front of him. He had never actually played poker before, but caught on quickly enough and now the pile of money in front of him seemed to be growing rapidly. Grinning slyly, he glanced down at the forty-six aces that were hidden in his boot.

_Ha, poker. Easier than beating Shelby in chess. _

* * *

Somewhere else in HIVE, Laura had snuck into Shelby's room, grabbed her stack of relationship magazines and was skimming through them with rapid speed.

A livid SciTech student burst through the door and she shot him through the chest without even looking. They had just reached the part about how to drop subtle signs of your love.

_Relationships. And I thought they were easy. _

* * *

At exactly twelve-oh-nine, a ceasefire was agreed on between Dylan and Otto. There was to be no more fighting until tomorrow, for the new Sherlock episode was airing tonight and there was no way in hell Otto would miss it.

Then, of course, he would need at _least_ eight hours to cuddle up with his blanket and cry with all the feels that came with watching Sherlock.

Raven, of course, received no notice of the ceasefire and was happily blasting her way through HIVE, looking for any loose students to, erm, discipline. The hallways were completely empty, although she did manage to trade her Panzer for a Sherman. (They had better steering on them)

Her phone started singing bad romance, and she picked it up.

"Natalya, could you please come to my safe room?" Nero all but begged.

"Eh, sure," she shrugged, gunning up the tank and turning towards the nearest hole in the wall (probably created by her). "All the students are missing."

"It's the season premiere of Sherlock," Nero explained, and Raven felt her stomach drop.

"THAT'S TONIGHT?" she shrieked, gunning the tank up and racing for his panic room. "HOW COULD I MISS IT? THERE ARE NO TV'S LEFT IN HIVE! I WON'T BE ABLE TO WATCH IT FOR AGES!"

"Well…" Nero said tentatively. "I made a blanket fort, and there's popcorn in the microwave. We could watch it in my safe room if you wanted to."

Raven took a moment to consider her options, before shrugging. It sounded as good as any other thing, and if she really tried she could pretend they were on a date. "I'll be there in five," she told him, turning off her phone. She definitely did not study herself in the windshield of the tank, nor did she flatten her hair and adjust her sweater before revving the tank up.

Because it was _not_ a date.

* * *

Inside grappler cavern nine, a very heated debate was going on between the PolFi students and the SciTech ones.

SciTech were screaming that Sherlock was obviously the better of the two brothers, while PolFi were arguing it was obviously Mycroft. The henchmen were content to sit back and watch the violence awaiting to erupt in hopes there would be a punch throne. It would, of course, be a very weak and misplaced punch, but a punch was a punch nonetheless.

Dylan turned towards Cassie, who was healing her wounds by watching more naked Wing videos. She seemed to have an endless supply, even though everyone else only had two.

"Do you want to break that up?" he asked. She didn't even look up at him.

"Not really," she replied, rolling her eyes as a weaker-minded girl caught a glimpse of the videos and collapsed, twitching and groaning. "I have no interest in the show, anyways."

"Are you saying it's bad?" Dylan demanded, getting ready to punch her, but she shook her head.

"Actually, I've never watched it," she clarified. "Conan Doyle-bah. Boring. I'm not fond of the 'classics', as they're called. Much like I'm not too fond of Darcy over there." She gestured to where the makeshift PolFi leader had an eight-foot script ready to rile up their troops tomorrow. "The screenplay is good, I guess."

"Sherlock reminds me a bit of Fanchu," Dylan threw in, and her eyes went wide.

"Where's that TV remote?" she demanded, rewinding the PVR and shutting off her Wing videos— for now, of course. "SHUT UP, YOU LOT!" she roared at the arguing PolFi students. The first shots started playing, and she frowned in disappointment.

"They look nothing alike!" she said, and Dylan shrugged.

"Don't they? My bad," he smirked. "At least the groups stopped arguing, yeah?"

Cassie would have glared at him, but three seconds into the show and she was hooked. Screaming the words "SPOILERS!" over and over again, she put her headphones inside her ears, began playing the first episode at full volume on her iPad and began her Sherlock education marathon. On the TV screens, the latest Sherlock episode was still playing and an eager group of viewers had gathered around the TV screen, intent on watching the seasons première.

The lights all flickered at once, before dying all together. The TV shut down a moment later, leaving a storm of angry protests and confused yells in its wake. Darcy looked up from her script writing with a frown as Cassie (reluctantly) paused her A Study in Pink video to address the matter at hand, in the most diplomatic way possible.

"What in the royal flying fuck happened to our power?"

Yeah, that was about as subtle as she got. All around flashlights were being pulled out and questions were starting to form. Dylan was opening his mouth to say something when the screen lit up, revealing a certain chubby German boy wearing a huge smile.

"Hello, SciFiMen!" he said cheerfully. "I am being the Franz Argentblum of the Alpha stream and you re surely being knowing me, _ja?_" Without giving them time to respond he forged on. "I am being aware that you are deciding to be fighting the Alpha's, and while I myself am having no dispute against you as the SciFiMen, I am being in an Alpha and have been reading up of the letters you sent me. They are very offensive, _ja?_ For this reason, I have been deciding to cut your financial assets that are being funding your war, so that I may go back to a peaceful Sherlock and my midnight munchies. Be having a good day, _ja?_"

And then the screen flickered out.

* * *

It was happening now.

This was it. WWIII, the Trojan war, War of the Worlds, Star Wars 1-6, 300, The Avengers had nothing on this battle that was about to take place. On one side of HIVE's main cavern the Alpha's were lined up, wielding pink light-sabers as well as an assortment of medieval and high-tech weapons. On the other side, the PolTechMen (or SciFiMen) were lined up, carrying bats and axes and ray guns and campaign flags respectively.

The PolTechMen, realizing how they wouldn't last without a source of income (for no matter how hard they tried, they couldn't find the money that had been taken by Franz), had moved all of their troops to the main cavern and were prepared to storm the Alpha's, getting rid of them once and for all. The Alpha's had quickly countered and now were ready to end the war.

Nero and Raven had gone on a Community marathon to dull the feels that came with Sherlock.

Darcy was standing on a raised podium reading off of her ten-foot-long script as she riled the PolFi students into action. Cassie was enjoying the last few moments of Wing videos, every now and then pausing to offer an "I agree with her" when Darcy delivered a particularly powerful line. Dylan was holding his sword above his head and quoting Troy.

"_You know what lies past the army?" _He demanded of the assembled Henchmen. "IMMORTALITY! It's yours, take it!" Thrusting his blade high, he basked in the screams of the bloodthirsty henchmen.

Laura was nowhere to be seen. (She was curled up in her bed with a flashlight and a chocolate bar, reading magazines.) On the Alpha's side, Otto had contemplated an inspirational speech but had discounted the thought when he realized the Alpha's were about as riled up as one could get. Raven and her tank hadn't been seen in the past ten hours, so Otto was going on the assumption that the assassin was either dead or with Nero. He was constantly wondering why they didn't get together.

_Some people are so oblivious. _

Cassie had gotten bored of Darcy's endless speech and shoved her cohort off of the podium.

"_My children!" _she screeched. "_Now is our chance to crush these inferiors once and for all! They are good at nothing! We need not them to lead us, for all they have led us has been to darkness and doom! It is time to seize control for our self! Time for us to take over HIVE! This is our moment! Let no mere Alpha stand in our way, for they are worthless scum-spawn . Iron Man suits, charge!" _

With that, she dove into the crown of yelling SciTech students, nearly impaled herself on two swords and started crowd-surfing.

The Iron Man suits (which weren't quite as good as Stark's but cut a close second) swooped into the air and blasted towards the Alpha's, laser guns popping up and firing with high-pitched _bleeps_.

"Take cover!" Otto yelped, holding up his lightsaber as if it would protect him from the laser bullets. Wing yanked his friend to the ground the suits swooped lower and started plucking Alpha's off the ground and tossing them to the swarming mass of PolFiMen who were waiting to charge.

Suddenly a low rumbled echoed throughout the cavern and the eastern wall gave in with a loud _boom, _rocks showering down on the suits. A massive black submarine flew through the opened wall, one small figure standing atop of it looking for all the world like the rider of death himself.

"Yeah-ha!" Nigel Darkdoom yelled, firing up the rocket launcher that was mounted near him and blasting a hole in the awaiting army. "Look at me now, dad!" He unloaded on the Iron Man suits, blasting them to shreds in a second. Cassie cursed.

"_Lets end this thing once and for all!" _She bellowed, climbing down from the crowd and grabbing her liberated bazooka. The Alpha's saw the building tension and fired their lightsabers up, getting ready to charge.

Like a damn breaking the two side poured towards each other. Half the PolFi students fell right on their face, stampeded by the charging Henchmen. Otto was picked up from behind and unwillingly drove towards a wide-eyed Cassie, who was firing off her bazooka far faster than should have been physically possible.

_Ohcrapohcrapohcrap. _

He hadn't actually planned on, well, _fighting, _more just making cool weapons and watching Wing take care of it. Deciding he had no other choice, he grabbed his own lightsaber and prepared to meet the crazy SciTech leader head on.

"_For Shotto!" _

The battle cry rang high and clear over the din of stampeding feet. All action on the battlefield froze; Wing stopped from where he was about to behead Dylan, Otto halted his thrust at Cassie and the two armies stood still.

"Did… did I just hear that right?' Cassie asked tentatively, looking at Otto with an expression of bewilderment. The Albino looked utterly horrified.

"I'm afraid so," he agreed. The two armies were jostling around quite a bit, trying to find who had made that ridiculous call. Finally a grey-clad girl was pushed forwards as the Alpha's and the PolSciMen formed a circle around her.

Another student stepped forwards bravely.

"Raving for the win!" He declared. It took Otto a second to work that one out.

"Raven and Wing?" His face twisted in disgust. "Are there any more of those out there?"

A second of silence.

"I support Lang!" A Henchmen yelled. Cassie visibly gasped at that one.

"Otting forever!"

"Franzisco rules!"

"Wingleon is the best!"

The last one really got to Otto:

"Ottucy 4 lyfe!"

"You know what?" The Alpha asked, making eye-contact with Cassie. "Screw this war. Lets get them." He gestured to the fifty-or so students who had gathered in the middle and were prepared to fight for their shippings.

"Eh," Cassie shrugged, reloading her Bazooka. "I'm up for it."

"Do you want to do the honors?" Otto questioned, and she held the weapon of mass destruction over her head, turning to the assembled Alphas/PolTechMen.

"WE SHALL ANNIHILATE THOSE BLASPHEMOUS NO-GOOD SLIME TURDS WHO DARE TO DISRUPT THE SANCTITY OF THE SACRED SHIPS OF HIVE! CHARGE, MY COMRADES-TONIGHT, WE SHALL USE THEIR BLOOD TO PAINT A CHAMBER-OF-SECRETS-ESQUE MESSAGE AS WARNING TO THESE BRAINLESS IDIOTS! _CHARGE!"_

* * *

Somewhere else in HIVE, Nero and Raven made a mad dash for the Shroud hanger. The tankless, Katanaless assassin was keeping a weary eye out for attacks, although she knew that most of them were gathered in the main cavern ready to battle.

If she knew some of the shippings they were throwing out there, she would have been in the heart of the battle and killing all the Raving supporters that were ever to live.

Instead, she was running with Nero for their get-away-vacation-that-most-definitely-wasn't-a-ho ney-moon. Just like the ring he had given her wasn't to make her feel more like Frodo Baggins.


End file.
